Finding my truth through Feminine Embodiment

The Inspiration

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When I was just 5 years old, a neighbor up the street from my family home asked my parents where they got the Alien. I was confused, hurt by my new friend, and somehow would remember forever how different that made me feel. Having lost all my hair at around that age, I was suddenly deeply conscious of how different I looked to other little kids, especially other little girls. 

 

This feeling would take a long time to reveal itself as a superpower.

 

These kind of stories occupy a lot of space in my childhood memories:

 

• Being called a boy, and asked why I was in the ladies room

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• Wanting a toy from the “boys” lucky dip or Santa’s Sack

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• Being called baldie, or teased by other names

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• The pity, prayers, and whispers by adults when they thought I had Leukemia

 

As I got older, some of these persisted into my teen and young adult years, especially the pity and prayers - but they got louder, more open about it - and all the more embarrassing.

 

I wasn't sick or dying - I'd just chosen not to wear a wig for over 13 years.

 

For some of my teen years I wore a hat, a beanie, that I never took off - I skipped the beach and many other activities just because I refused to remove it, but that ended around my 16th year when I just decided - NO More!

 

Then started my 20s - full of rebellious drinking and trying to find love with men and women who would have me. Anywhere I could. I craved the acceptance, attraction, love and attention that I felt I never got as a child from those I had a crush on or would have loved. I got into terrible relationships, put myself in danger, and worried my family. 

 

I still felt like an alien and believed no one would ever love me.

 

 But amongst all that chaos, as life made itself known more and more to me, as I got to know myself deeper and deeper - there was a lightness in the terms of my alopecia.

 

I found good people, an amazing husband to take me in and adore me... but I still wasn’t happy.​

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Something Shifted

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Instead it was the passing of my sister 6 years ago that changed everything. You could call this an awakening. Not only to what I wanted to do with my life, but also to who I wanted to be, how I wanted to feel and who I wanted to help. My sister passed away just at the point she was starting to make time for herself, look after herself and figure out what she wanted to do next. It was heartbreaking.

 

In grieving her, I found a new way to feel my feelings, open myself up to life and in the end find a way to grieve much of what I had lost along the way. The hair loss itself and the imagined futures where it grew back. The abandonment of friends, religion, opportunities that had shifted under my feet because I had no hair. To explore why I felt so broken because every cure that I had ever tried had never worked.

 

And I came out the other side, brighter, happier, sexier and with more purpose, more opportunities, more LIFE than I had felt since I was a child unaware of being different.

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So now I want to help others

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I want to support you, collaborate with you, understand you and hold space for your journey. To remind you of the skillsets many women have forgotten - how to feel, how to grieve, how to find safety, comfort and beauty in your own skin. How to remember your innate feminine powers no matter how you interpret them or whatever your own unique flavor of them is.

 

I’m here to help you see the real you and find the other side of hair loss. 

 

I want to hold your hand, listen to your words and reintroduce you to your body, your emotions and help you figure out who you want to be. In life, in relationships, in sex and love. In your work, your home and especially your body.

 

I know hair loss is more than just a physical loss (though that is a huge part of it), it comes with much more than what people see. 

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It's also taught me so much about myself.

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It may have taken me many years and experiences to find my voice and my way in this world as a bald woman. But it doesn’t have to for you. Let’s collaborate, share, and explore what could be your superpower.